Start your first game.

Pause the game for the first time.

Complete all of the in-game tutorials.

Defeat an enemy using melee combat.

Perform 10 single-hit melee kills.

Defeat five enemies in a row using melee combat.

Score 20 headshots.

Score 50 headshots.

Score 100 headshots.

Score two headshots with one bullet.

Kill 50 enemies with the Hazard pistol.

Kill 50 enemies with the shotgun.

Kill 50 enemies with the sub-machinegun.

Kill 50 enemies with the AK-47.

Kill 50 enemies with the sniper rifle.

Kill 25 enemies using blind fire.

Kill at least one enemy with every available gun.

Shoot 30 potted plants.

Shoot and destroy 30 fire extinguishers.

Destroy 20 destructible cover objects.

Blow up 50 explosive objects.

Kill an enemy with an explosive that also damages you.

Collect 20 Hazard pickups.

Collect 20 Master Shield pickups.

Complete a level without dying.

Complete the game on the Minor Hazard difficulty setting.

Complete the game on the Major Hazard difficulty setting.

Complete the game on the Maximum Hazard difficulty setting.

"What? No multiplayer? Sigh. Well...not like we can take the achievement back NOW...."

Watch the credits from beginning to end.

Defeat Sonny Tang. "Sonny, YOUR ass is kicked!"

Defeat Sting Sniperscope. "Your present ends now."

Kill all butcher shop enemies with headshots. "You're not PAYING for ammo. Feel free to use more."

Blast all hanging beef. "Udder destruction? Steaking a claim? Beating your...I can go on all day."

Get 50 Dual-Wield Six-Shooter kills. "Now all we need is the spaghetti..."

Kill a Bandit from behind with a melee attack. "Good for you. Coward."

Don't let any dance bots die in Level 2. "Do dancing robots dream of disco sheep?"

Defeat General Neutronov. "From Hazard, With Love."

Defeat Sting Sniperscope again in Level 3. "Your present ends now. Again."

Score 20 single-shot Zombie kills. "Don't these things usually hang out in shopping malls?"

Escape from Dexter's mansion. "I gotta get me a house like THAT!"

Get 50 Energy Pistol kills. "Blaster? I hardly know 'er!"

Get 50 Plasma Rifle kills. "Plasma rifles. They're not just for Space Marines anymore."

Defeat the Tentacle Beast of Tramm. "One-two shot right to the tentacles."

Defeat Altos Tratus. "Forecast for the next level: no more clouds."

"What do you mean the interrogation feature was cut?!? Here...just take the achievement."

Defeat Sting Sniperscore yet AGAIN in Level 7. "I. Have had. Enough. Of YOU!!"

Kill three Testers with one grenade launcher shot. "Test the grenades: check!"

Defeat Wally Wellesley. "Like I said..."

Meet Quentin. "DUDE!!!!!"